The Few and the Proud
Greetings from Officer Candidate School (OCS). I have completed my fifth week (half way) of the most difficult introductory military training in the US and possibly the world. When I made the decision to join the Marine Corps Reserve, I knew it would be difficult-and the Marines know how to take 'difficult' to a whole new level!
This is definitly the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Physically, it is tough; but I have "Physical Courage" (Marine Corps Leadership Trait) and push through whatever the obstical. My struggle has overcoming myself and my own weaknesses inside me. Weaknesses I never knew I had.
The moment we were picked up by our Sergeant Instructors (think drill instructors on steroids) I basically went into some type of survival mode. My body freaked out and I froze up completely like some poor animal cornered by a preditor. I finally realized I had never been yelled at before in my life. I was scared, truly scared. I know that the yelling is part of a test to see how we react to stress like the stress of combat. Coming into this, I thought I could handle any kind of stress. It took about two and a half weeks to finally start putting true effort into my training instead of just trying to survive.
I was told by Marine veterines that I would learn things about myself that I wouldn't like, and things that would amaze me. No matter what, the training would change me. I have been disappointed that it has taken me so much time to over come my weaknesses. I started to believe the words the sergeant instructors were saying about me. That I was a complete idiot. That I was incapible of anything. The worst were when the staff would say things about how Aaron must be disapppointed with how poorly I was doing and embarrassed of me. They would even go over to his platoon and tell him what I had done. I know this is all part of the test, but there were times it took all my strength such as when Aaron's sergeant instructor yelled and spat in my face and told my that Aaron and I were both worthless and and needed to be sent back to where we came from. We weren't wanted. It took a lot to not believe these words.
I always thought I would be the one helping out others, and here I am needing help. It's tough asking for help. It's tough being seen by others as slow or weak.
The past few weeks have been better, but everyday is a test to see if we truly want to be here. If we have what it takes to lead Marines. I can leave at any time. I can also be sent home at any time. We've already lost 17 in our platoon.
I am finally able to focus on others rather than my own survival. However, what I know most is that I can NOT do this on my own. If I am to make it through this training, I must rely on God alone to pull me though. There is no other way. If I am to be a Marine Corps officer, it is because it is God's will.
This is definitly the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Physically, it is tough; but I have "Physical Courage" (Marine Corps Leadership Trait) and push through whatever the obstical. My struggle has overcoming myself and my own weaknesses inside me. Weaknesses I never knew I had.
The moment we were picked up by our Sergeant Instructors (think drill instructors on steroids) I basically went into some type of survival mode. My body freaked out and I froze up completely like some poor animal cornered by a preditor. I finally realized I had never been yelled at before in my life. I was scared, truly scared. I know that the yelling is part of a test to see how we react to stress like the stress of combat. Coming into this, I thought I could handle any kind of stress. It took about two and a half weeks to finally start putting true effort into my training instead of just trying to survive.
I was told by Marine veterines that I would learn things about myself that I wouldn't like, and things that would amaze me. No matter what, the training would change me. I have been disappointed that it has taken me so much time to over come my weaknesses. I started to believe the words the sergeant instructors were saying about me. That I was a complete idiot. That I was incapible of anything. The worst were when the staff would say things about how Aaron must be disapppointed with how poorly I was doing and embarrassed of me. They would even go over to his platoon and tell him what I had done. I know this is all part of the test, but there were times it took all my strength such as when Aaron's sergeant instructor yelled and spat in my face and told my that Aaron and I were both worthless and and needed to be sent back to where we came from. We weren't wanted. It took a lot to not believe these words.
I always thought I would be the one helping out others, and here I am needing help. It's tough asking for help. It's tough being seen by others as slow or weak.
The past few weeks have been better, but everyday is a test to see if we truly want to be here. If we have what it takes to lead Marines. I can leave at any time. I can also be sent home at any time. We've already lost 17 in our platoon.
I am finally able to focus on others rather than my own survival. However, what I know most is that I can NOT do this on my own. If I am to make it through this training, I must rely on God alone to pull me though. There is no other way. If I am to be a Marine Corps officer, it is because it is God's will.
posted by sejgirl at
7:08 AM
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