Lockdown!

Last month we ran a company wide drug test and had one individual "pop" positive for cocaine. We NJPed (Non-Judicial Punishment)him this month. Rumors were going around the company that another individual did not get caught, so we locked down the compound and closed the gate so no one could leave until everyone completed a drug test. We waited an hour on one Marine who had a bad case of stage fright.

In the Marine Corps, drug tests are conducted by standing in line forever while drinking large amounts of water. Then, by the time it's your turn, your bladder is about to explode. You are given a small container and instructed to show it is empty before a verifier leads you to the head (restroom) while you carry the bottle over your right shoulder. Once in the head, the observer watches you fill the bottle.

I am going to be a pro at urinalysis the way things are going. Two drug tests in a month and Friday I did a preg test for my annual Well Woman Fun appointment-though no observer for that. I haven't gotten the official results to all my tests yet, but I am pretty sure they're all negative...